But it`s also KILLING me so I created a sockpuppet account (if sockpuppeting isn`t okay, mods, pls smack me down with your modly godhands)
Basically, it was an E-rated fic where one person had teeth in his ass? Like the way teeth grow in mouths. And he meets this other guy (at a club, I think), and they`re about to have sex when first guy is like WAIT NO I CAN`T HAVE SEX CAN`T BECAUSE REASONS
And lo and behold
Second guy is a dentist
They go into the dentist`s office, dentist stares at the guy`s ass for a while and admires his teeth a bit (I think he makes out with the ass at some point too?), but then the teeth start getting snippy so he pulls the teeth out. And then they have sex.
Later, they get married and the first guy wears a set of gold-plated teeth-shaped cufflinks.
Fic was on AO3 and I`m like 80% sure it was Kurt/Sebastian but it also could have been Kurt/Blaine. I don`t think it`s tagged in a way that`s useful to fic searching, but maybe I`m just bad? I`m also 100% sure this fic exists (or did at one point.)
Does anyone have a link for (or even just remember) this fic?